Tuesday, March 22, 2011

read this blog.

so, my dashing husband writes blogs from time to time on his band's website. he's been writing about the fear of failure as of late and i think his thoughts are pretty great. not only because he is m'man...i truly can relate to what he has been writing about. take a moment to read if you get a chance...

new post: "if only they would listen"

i hope it encourages you!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

i miss them.

i am talking about my grandparents. i said i would write about them one day and i am finally prepared to do just that. they deserve a novel really. what extraordinary people!

my grandmother, Shirley Joyce Durr, passed away on November 1, 2010. my grams had been battling a rare type of oral cancer for about 3 years. a few months before she passed, the doctor told us nothing could be done. though we all knew this, it was still a bit of a shock when she passed away. we thought we at least had a year, or so we were told. the night before she passed, i was supposed to be somewhere else but had a "funny" feeling i needed to go and see grams. so i dropped everything and spent the night with my mom and my aunt by my grandma's bedside. we cried and laughed and teased grandma. she was asleep the entire time i was there, but i am sure i saw her smirk when i told her she was going to be "one sexy angel." grams went to be with her Savior the next afternoon.

my grandfather, Lewis Arthur Durr, passed away on November 13, 2010. my grandpa had dementia for a few years and was in a memory care unit for a few months before he passed away. the interesting thing is that he was incredibly healthy! he had zero problems with his heart and body...his mind was the problem. dementia is such a scary disease. he really started going downhill fast when my grams started going down. it was like there was a string attached between the two of them. when grandpa would have a rough day in the unit, grams would have a rough day at home and vice versa. he was a tough old guy. i am serious about that! he even took out a couple of male nurses one day at the memory care unit but that is a different story (you can laugh...it is hilarious to think of an 80 year old man taking out a couple of male nurses). a few days before grandpa passed, my family and i went to say our goodbyes. i can honestly say it was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. i will forever remember watching my sister say her goodbye...she kissed my grandpa's forehead, held his hand, layed on his chest, and wept. what a sweet moment filled with sorrow.

my grandpa died almost exactly two weeks after my grandma. i am telling you, there was a string connected between their souls. their 60th wedding anniversary was the first one they had ever spent apart from each other. and now they are in Heaven, with the Maker of the universe. that is truly an amazing thought!

i will miss my grandma's hugs and "i love you Kates." her tuna sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies (which is the recipe i make and people love...good job grams). her sweet spirit and steadfastness. her encouragement and support - always, always, always. her little tiny fist she would shake at you if you teased her. her fiesty-ness (i don't think that is a word...still, it describes her perfectly)...she was 5'1 and weighed about 105 pounds. tiny, but feisty! her sweet smelling candles. her cards. her love. gosh i miss her.

i will miss my grandpa's hugs!...the best hugs in the world. his constant teasing. his love for everyone. his love for his family. his protective nature. his full head of beautiful white Elvis shaped hair. his beautiful smile that charmed the ladies. his bickering with grams - hilarious i tell you. him sneaking more dessert when grams wasn't watching. his tattoo that said "Shirley." his hard working hands. his love. gosh i miss him.

i had the privilege of having these two incredible people in my life for 28 years...10 of which were spent as my parents next door neighbors. many people don't get this chance - i am very grateful to have had it. they have impacted my life beyond words. i miss them every single day. thank you, grams and gramps, for the memories but most of all, for the love.

A Poem

"I asked the Lord if I must wait
For greater things to do
"My child" he said, "you're doing now
The work I want you to."

"But Lord," I cried, "'tis not enough.
I'd like to do much more."
"But child," He said, "you're doing now
The task I want you for."

Some day my child you'll understand
Why you must wait so long
For the things you want to do
For me, will never be what's wrong.

There's a job in waiting for you child
I'm sorry it must be
But the task that I have in store for thee
Calls for faith and waiting patiently.

--Joyce Durr

you completed your task grandma! you ran the race. you too gramps! and what a race the two of you ran. i will see you both in that great and glorious place one day. know that i love you both. until then...

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


the thing is, i have a lot to say but no time to right what i want to say. so, here is my boring, i-got-this-new-dress-in-the-mail-and-cannot-wait-to-wear-it post. i hope your week has been absolutely lovely so far!

*the dress is from www.modcloth.com - one of my favorites*